Movie Review: The Watchmen

I've never read comic-books, but I am a fan of movie series like X-Men, Spiderman and Batman. I thought they all had great plots, characters, action and special effects. I had no problem jumping into the story line being unfamiliar with the source material. In Watchmen, so much emphasis is placed on recapturing the exact details of Alan Moore's "graphic novel", that pieces of the big picture were left out. For instance, how exactly did all these regular people become super-heroes? They don't have any special powers; the only explanation given was "because nobody else would". Also, after trying to rape his best fried The Comedian later "sealed the deal". How exactly did that come about? I felt like somewhat of an outsider watching this movie.

Of course, Watchmen cult followers have a different view; Time Magazine's Matt Selman writes: "Sitting in that screening room and watching the visual world of the Watchmen movie unfold was one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had. Not film experiences. Just EXPERIENCES. I don't think I realized how close I was to the original book until I saw such a loving, detail-rich, almost obsessive recreation of that universe. It had my heart pounding and head swimming. I barely slept that night. Someone took the most special personal thing of my adolescence and put it on a movie screen. That doesn't happen every day."

...Okay, but I think The Baltimore Sun's Michael Sragow hit it spot on: "The ultimate question raised by the movie version of the celebrated graphic novel Watchmen may not be "Who watches the Watchmen?" but "Who will check their watches during Watchmen?" Ticking in at two hours and 43 minutes, this slavish exercise in revisionist comic-book lore takes more than an hour to get started, and then never gets its scale or proportion right."


It seems that a big part of the hype surrounding the Watchmen is director Zack Snyder's statement that it would "transcend the perceptions of the superhero genre", being a film with more depth and substance than its comic-book predecessors". If having more depth and substance means being really long and showing scene after scene of a giant blue guy's ass and penis then mission accomplished, Zack Snyder!

Yeah, I get it, Dr. Manhattan has isolated himself from society and no longer has a connection with human kind, hence, doesn't feel the need to conform by wearing clothes. But did every camera shot really need to be full body? Blue ass in the lab, blue penis on Mars, blue ass and penis about town. If exhibitionism is a super power, then reality tv show such as VH1's Flavor of Love need to be reevaluated.

Death to Voicemail

I cannot stress enough how much I despise voicemail. It was a great idea 10-15 years ago before cell phones were as prominent as they now are (back then people used things called "answering machines"), but it has outlived it's usefulness. It is no longer a convenient tool, it is the exact opposite of that.

Compared to more advanced ways of communication, such as text messaging and email, voicemail is unbelievably time consuming. Checking it requires listening to that smug computer voice that tries to prompt me with useless options in order to take up even more of my time. On my work phone, I counted 13 buttons I have to push before I even reach the messages: the voicemail button (1), my extension and pound (5), my password and pound (5), get messages (1), listen to new messages (1). At least on my cell I just need to be ready to press the delete button.

In some cases I understand the need to leave a voicemail for me at work. If that is my only contact info you have and haven't been able to reach me then I guess it is acceptable to leave me a short, concise message. The fraction of passable voicemails is small though. Even if it is an appropriate occasion for a voicemail, the leaver of the message usually rambles on for an intolerable duration of time. Often, people within my own company (in the same building as me) feel compelled to leave me voicemails. This is admittedly better than them coming to talk to me, but I would still prefer an email. I cringe every time I see that red button lit on my phone.

The other problem with voicemails is if you have to write something down for later, you are stuck with an annoying scrap of paper that is begging to get lost. A text or email is already on record to retrieve when necessary. Much more tidy and efficient.

There are still people addicted to voicemail, however. They actually use the advances in technology to receive their "voicemail crack" in numerous ways...

I'm shocked that people actually do this. The last thing I want is for voicemails to get mixed in with my other messages. If it wasn't important enough to emailed or texted to me to begin with, I'm sure it can wait.

I Have Awful Taste in Television

Reality television: opponents have called it such things as morally corrupt, unethical and void of even a fundamental code of decency. Viewers have been accused of being voyeurs and aggressive by nature. Come on, as the Joker would say: "Why so serious?". It certainly isn't Stephen Spielberg caliber work, or even Ron Jeremy caliber- it's just cheap entertainment.

Individuals "cast" on these shows are certainly entertaining to watch, and the producers do a great job of selecting them. They do some pretty silly and crazy stuff and repeatedly embarrass themselves... so why do so many people show up on dating shows to compete for the attention of undesirable celebrities such as Flavor Flav and Brett Michaels? Well, a cast member (not the star of the show) makes an average of $3000/day for allowing their antics to be filmed 24/7. It should also be no surprise that many a "Reality TV Star" is in fact an aspiring actor, model or musician. I guess they aren't so much competing for love as for another day's pay and exposure.

I do a lot of reading- I like books about science and theory; I'm interested in news and current events; I like to listen to different music and go to concerts. I've never liked soap operas and rarely enjoy TV dramas... so I'm not sure what the initial attraction to trashy reality shows was for me. My intellectual decline began when I became caught up in Flavor of Love a couple years ago. Since then I have continued to watch the stream of series created to leave viewers in a state of shock and amusement. I think the difference between reality TV and most sitcoms and other serial shows is that these reality shows are actually funny!

Sometimes when I come home from work or hard exercise, I just want to relax for a little bit. Instead of doing something that would require effort I would rather watch people that tried to date Flavor Flav compete in challenges for $250,000 (I Love Money: Season 2, Sundays at 11:30am, re-airing many times during the week).

Of course, not all reality shows are that trashy. I've watched many seasons of The Biggest Loser. I'll admit, I start to care about these people. It makes me really happy to see them lose weight and start to feel better about themselves. A show was also made to help contestants from the infamous VH1 shows improve their poor behavior (I don't think it worked too well though).

So in closing: yes, these shows are mostly stupid; yes, I will continue to watch them; yes, you can continue to make fun of me for it.

Vampire Weekend

First I must say that iTunes Genius is quite appropriately named. After my recent Fiery Furnaces Purchase, the music mastermind gave me a few recommendations, all of which I ended up liking... a lot. One of my favorites from this list was The Buzzcocks, a 70's English punk-rock band that reminds me a bit of The Romones or The Sex Pistols. I ended up getting their 1980 album, Singles Going Steady which is pretty awesome. The best lead Genius gave me though was pointing me towards another indie band, Vampire Weekend.

Vampire Weekend is fairly new to the scene, their eponymous debut album came out in January of last year. They definitely have a Euro and alternative sound, which is probably why they are much more popular in Britain than in the US- at least for now. Like the Fiery Furnaces, they have concocted a sound comprised of many styles; but their sound is decidedly more natural. It's refreshing and upbeat. Their album's fluidity reminds me of The Killers Day and Age and they also have a cutting edge sound like the strokes. Even with VW being easy to dive in and listen to, it never gets boring. As I listened to their album, I found myself going from "this is catchy" to "I have listened to this straight through three times a day for a week".

The four guys that make up Vampire Weekend are recent Columbia University grads. Some critics have joked about their silver spoons roots and button-down shirts, but most can't help but admit that these guys just sound good. Sure they may have been given the title of "Whitest Band" by the site Stuff White People Like, but their music certainly doesn't sound pretentious. In fact, they seem to joke about their preppy image in songs like "Oxford Comma": "Who gives a fuck about an Oxford Comma, I've seen those English dramas too, their cruel..". Fortunately, I think the critics actually got it right this time. I agree with Post Magazine's remark that "this cosmopolitan quartet has streamlined ska, post-punk, chamber music and Afropop into a glorious ultramodern groove" (make note of the lack of an Oxford comma in that comment).

Unfortunately, there was one misstep in Vampire Weekend. Like many a band before them, a single song poisoned their album. The song "Blake's Got a New Face"... it is pretty much unlistenable if that is a word. This song was such a let down... I went from jamming to making stupid jokes about some one named Blake who had a face transplant.

But if you can ignore "Blake's Got a New Face", listen to Vampire Weekend. I'm hoping they are in the works of creating a second album. Vampire Weekend doesn't seem like a hyper-active band; they seem smart so I'm hoping that when they do come out with some new music they don't disapoint.

My rating on Vampire Weekend's Vampire Weekend: 4 stars (A-)

It would have been an A had it not been for "Blake's Got a New Face"

The Fiery Furnaces: Widow City

During my junior year at Miami U, I took an elective course on jazz music. My "professor" was a 2-years sober blues musician who may or may not have realized he had to grade us as some point in the semester. Any way, as abstract as the class was, it did actually make me listen to and think about music differently. Even after I had completed class, I continued to find myself listening for different influences in music and finding new appreciation for musicians who didn't box themselves into a specific genre. If nothing else, The Fiery Furnaces do not limit themselves to one brand of music... or 2 or 3 or 4... but like improvisation in jazz... it works somehow.

Widow City is The Fiery Furnaces' 6th album, but the first that I've bought. I only heard of this band a few weeks ago. After listening to a certain person sing the song Nevers several times, I decided to check this band out for myself, and I'm glad I did.

Before deciding on Widow City, I listened to a bunch of stuff from the Furnaces' compilation of music. Their first album, Gallowsbird's Bark, was released in 2003. Since then they have come out with 6 more including a live album of songs from their first 6 studio albums. I liked the songs I sampled from all of the Furnaces' albums; I arbitrarily chose Widow City based on two songs I really liked: "Navy Nurse" and "Duplexes of the Dead". I had also read that this most recent album was a little smoother than their previous works, so I thought it would be a safe place to start. I like Indy music, but I wasn't completely ready to dive into the backwards lyrics (literally played backwards) and ancient languages that made appearances in Bitter Tea and Blueberry Boat.

Some die-hard FF fans have actually complained that Widow City is too smooth; I don't have that complaint, however. For some one just discovering the furnaces, this album has a truly unique and surprising sound. It's hard and soft at the same time, angry and peaceful. This is much contributed to Eleanor Friedberger's voice, (which I sometimes find difficult to take in large doses) and also to the woodwind sounds which give the music an otherworldly feel. I later found out, not surprisingly, that the woodwind and string sounds came from a Chamberlain M1 keyboard. Besides it sounding cool, it would probably be difficult for a 2-person band to garner a 5-piece orchestra. Besides the occasional appearance of drummber Bob D'Amico, all instrumentals are done by Matthew Friedberger.

If you like Indy music and are open to new sounds I would recommend this album to you. It's one that I actually like more and more as I listen to it. In fact, I think I will add some more Fiery Furnaces music to my collection in the near future.

My rating on The Fiery Furnaces' Widow City: 3.5 stars (B+)