Christie-bate: Ninja Turtles vs. Capt. Planet

Hopefully neither of these shows need much introduction; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) and Captain Planet and the Planeteers were both 1990s animated series. The shows were very different, yet equally ridiculous, so I know this will be a heated debate. Just for fun, let's review each series...

TMNT centered on a suppositious group of four turtles who had been genetically altered by a liquid mutagen (because why wouldn't that happen?). After growing to human size, they are taught the art of ninja by Master Splinter, a giant rat, also altered by the mutagen. They live in the sewers of Manhattan and battle evil-doers large and small.

Captain Planet involves 5 kids who have been given rings by the Earth's living spirit named Gaia. Each ring possesses a power that when brought together conjures the hero Captain Planet. Together, the team fights villains who intend harm to the environment.

So both of these shows had memorable theme songs and catch phrases (most likely designed to annoy parents). I still frequently use the phrase "turtle power", especially after a good workout. I also really like to talk myself up when I take out the recycling (recycool as CP would say) by remembering Captain Planet's wise words: "The power is yours". As far as theme songs go, CP's tried a little to hard to be hip; his eco-rap never impressed me and didn't make me want to be a Planeteer.

I didn't want to be a huge genetically altered reptile either, but I sure would have liked to hang out with the Ninja Turtles. They seemed to have a lot of fun, always eating pizza and what not. Of course, living in sewers off of junk food and not going to school probably wasn't a great message for kids, but TMNT did teach the hazards of being exposed to liquid mutagens. Captain Planet was designed to bridge the gap between children's entertainment and education, but who wants that? Kids have to sit in school and be lectured all day long.

TMNT also had more interesting enemies than Captain Planet. My favorite was Krang, that disturbing genius brain-creature (see right). Captain Planet's characters were uncreative and buffoonish- Verminous Scumm's goal was to spread filth and disease, Duke Nukem wasted resources (their names were pretty funny, though).

It should be no surprise... having better theme song, cooler characteres, storyline and villains... TMNT wins!

Good times

Good times always quick to find,
Ignoring candor for a fable silver lined,
You retreat in a moment's ease,
Never to question what another sees.

Easy to judge when expectations denied,
Disappointment being a convenient guide.
Find refuge in your own repose,
Simple disregard of what a needless knows.

Please realize that claiming false sentiment-
Is more than auxiliary detriment.
Leave alone what you can't find concrete,
For never in it will you find retreat.

Hasselhoff

I returned home last night from a really tough track workout to relax and see if the Indians game was on. I was ready to kick it and enjoy the rest of the night... my plans were foiled however when I turned on the telly, and what did I find... but a Hasselhoff.

Now, I wouldn't have have been very alarmed had it not been for the dress of The Hoff. He wore a shirt half buttoned and some sort of charm dangling about his chest... seeming to pose as a modern sex symbol. Also he was judging a talent competition, "America's Got Talent". I had heard of this show but never watched or thought much about it. After seeing Hasselhoff in all his glory, however, I decided to take a second look. My first impression was that he sat confidently judging individuals that at first glance had abundantly more ability than him, but I really never put in the effort to know much about The Hoff, so I decided to do some Wiki research.

As I suspected, according to Wiki, The Hoff's resume consisted of: 1) His lead role as Michael Knight in the popular 1980s U.S. Series Knight Rider, 2) L.A. County Lifeguard Mitch Buchannon in the early 1990s series Baywatch, and wait, basically nothing else until 3) NBC's America's Got Talent in 2006. Somewhere in there he also attempted a singing career which obviously didn't amount to much. I'm not trying to slam The Hoff's career, I have no problem with his mediocre television success and overall contribution to the entertainment industry- but let's take it for what it is. He just shouldn't be out there critiquing singers, dancers and a variety of other performers who may actually have a high aptitude for their craft and something unique to offer.

It is clear Hasselhoff views his own capabilities somewhat differently than I do, however. He compares his acting in Knight Rider and Baywatch to being more difficult than acting from a well-written script such as Reservoir Dogs, The Godfather, or Dances With Wolves. He also saw it as a major success that no one died during of either of his great tv shows... because both shows were about saving lives, not taking lives [insert any number of humorous comments here].

I guess Hasselhoff's oddness is actually what made him rich though. Baywatch was originally cancelled after only one season, but Hoff brought it back using his own money because he believed in it so much. Hoff's wealth is estimated at over $100,000,000, so I guess he can afford now for people to care about his opionions. I still have to feel bad for the performers on America's Got Talent, though. This could be the only opportunity for many of them, and it is placed in the hands of Hasselhoff, Sharon Osbourne, and that Pierce guy (no clue who he is).

One more thing, as I searched for a good picture of Hoff to put on this blog, there really was no limit to the hilarious photos I found. It was difficult to choose. Also, 90% of them are from around 15-20 years ago.

Time

Time lends itself to thoughts abstract-
Not better spent on logic and fact.
Figures redundant, their use bound-
When in the undefined, truth can be found.

Not easy to find verity exact-
When understanding doesn't leave an equation in tact.
While definitions do foster learning-
The unspoken keeps the mind turning.

But when passion can be found forthright,
Ambiguity does not involve its plight.
Assured affection can be claimed-
A fervor that does not need tamed.

Christie-bate: Tamagotchis vs. Beanie Babies

Tamagotchis and Beanie Babies: I have to admit I did have each of these toys as a kid. The first Tamagotchis were introduced in 1996, so I must have been about thirteen. A year later giga-pets came out. Both of these toys had the same concept; they were small, pocket-sized digital pets. Using a few buttons on the tiny device, you could interact with your little cyber companion in a variety of ways. It basically assimilated the responsibilities and enjoyments of having a real pet.


We all know what "Beanie Babies" are. Wikipedia describes one as "essentially a fancy bean bag in the form of a stuffed animal". Right on Wikipedia. I only had one Beanie (a purple hippo), but it seemed some people had hundreds! There were originally nine Beanies launched in 1993 and I can't even find a record online now of how many there currently are. I always found it odd how not only children but adults collected these stuffed animals as if they were valuable artifacts. I have to hand it to Ty (the company that produced them) for making such a craze out of a brand of stuffed animal, or plush toy if you prefer.

Well my memories of days with my Tamagotchi are not pleasant ones...I couldn't keep it happy! It wasn't for lack of trying; I even took the darn thing to school with me and tried to pay attention to it. It took a lot of time, and I think in the end it wasn't fun enough for the effort it required. The name"Tamagotchi", if you are wondering, comes from a combination of the Japanese word tomago (egg) and the English word watch (watch). That is a suitable name because one had to watch the Tamagotchi... all day! It was an interesting idea, and at the time the technology was exciting, but my days playing with my Tamagotchi were limited.

So Beanie Babies didn't do a whole lot but sit there, but they did their job. They were fuzzy and cuddly and managed to minipulate millions into buying them with their cuteness. Who doesn't like a cuddly little stuffed animal? Although Beanie Babies were discontinued in 1999, they had been so popular with consumers and there was such demand that Ty decided to start production again. In 2008 Ty took Beanies online with "Beanie Babies 2.0". With a 2.0 Beanie, you received a code to use online on an interactive website. Interesting, kind of like Tamagotchis. There doesn't seem to be much question in this debate over which was the better toy craze of the 90's. Beanie Babies win!

Turquoise Sky

Ok, here's another poem :)

How fair seems the turquoise sky,
When below it only lovers lie.
The sun itself kisses the eternal ceiling,
Granting light and magnificent color reeling.

An umbrella to contain the pure-
Uncontaminated sounds to endure.
Gentle breeze and flitting flowers-
Keep locked the gaze of two for hours.

The moment would come to pass too soon,
But not lost under the spell of the moon.
The rising sun impossible to cheat,
Each counted the hours till again they would meet.

Beauty departed

I used to write a lot of short stories and poems but fell out of habit once I became busy with the requirements of college and then working. Reading some fiction recently inspired me to revisit the writing of some more abstract material. It's no Edgar Allen Poe, but hopefully you enjoy it. I would be interested in any comments.

Her lips were red her skin was cold,

The soft sheets losing shape against her at every fold.

Her locks were dark and they fell free-

Shading a complexion as pale as leprosy.

The night-mare life-in-death was she,

Her limbs thin and fragile but her spirit free,

One to make a man’s blood thicken and silently plea:

“Stay one more hour before you flee”.

Even as minutes past there would be no escape

The tortured longing for one touch of her shape.

A tangible sin- a risk to take-

Fleeting passion that no waking hour could shake.

Resisting her gaze and inevitable sleep,

Slumber does not a woman’s company keep.

But her blue eyes like the ocean deep-

Holding a flooding passion that at any moment might seep.

For even one hope to hold her until dawn,

Chancing that death would take her as his pawn.

Hypnotized knowing feverish dreams would come,

And the line between love and lust become numb.

A midnight illusion soon morning brings,

Amnesia of striking beauty in darkness sings,

Perhaps another visit of the faraway moon,

Might once again recall her haunting tune.

Christie-bate: Quick Chop vs. Tool Band-it

I was recently inspired by a TV show called “The Great Debate” on one of my favorite channels, VH1. VH1 is a network that not only provides a wide selection of trashy reality television that I so enjoy, but also offers shows about (and often making fun of) pop culture and current events. “The Great Debate” was one such show; it offered important comparisons about the ridiculous fads that have influenced past years: debates included Best Boy Band: New Kids on the Block vs. N Sync, Hotter Travolta: Danny Zuko v.s Tony Manero and Best Teen Soap: 90210 vs. The OC. “The Great Debate” definitely provided stimulating discussions and brought attention to some important world topics, but many relevant themes were bypassed. I’d like to pick up where VH1 left off in a series called “Christie-bate”.

What would the past couple decades of been without the selling techniques of the late great Billy Mays? On the long list of products he sold on commercials and infomercials are: iTie: “the tie with a hidden pocket”, The Crocodile Cutter: “heavy duty shears that cut through virtually any material”, the Ding King: “a dent remover”, Kaboom: “tile and shower cleaner”, and of course, OxiClean: “detergent and bleaching agent that produces hydrogen peroxide when dissolved in water. The two greatest and most hokey products that I would like to debate, however, are the Quick Chop and the Tool Band-it.

How do I even begin to compare two such fantastic products!? Both are innovative and have the potential to make daily chores a cinch! Let’s explore these phenomenal products further…

I’m quite the gourmet cook. I’m constantly making fancy stuff like flambés and other stuff that sounds French. I don’t know about you, but I hate it when I have to spend hours in the kitchen tediously chopping, mincing, slicing and dicing. What a chore! The original Quick Chop completely solves this problem with just a tap, giving me more time to spend watching trashy reality tv. I also do a lot of ice chopping and to my amazement, the Quick Chop can do that as well! Now at first I was skeptical… could the Quick Chop really be faster than a knife and easier than a food processor? As it turns out, yes! The Quick Chop’s rotating action will cut your kitchen time in half! Clean up is always a chore after cleaning as well… with the Quick Chop, you just run it under the faucet and clean-up is a snap!

Hard as it is to believe, the Tool Band-it is a product to rival the Quick Chop! I’m quite the do-it-yourselfer and do a ton of work around the house. I’m constantly building giant stuff and fixing everything that could need fixed around the house. I always lose track of my tools and parts though. I wish I had known long a go that a rugged, flexible, magnetic armband existed that could keep my tools and work pieces within easy reach. I was surprised that something so lightweight could hold everything from screws to wrenches. It turns out it’s strength comes from rare, powerful earth magnets.

After thinking about how wonderful both of these products can make life, I still couldn’t decide which product really was better. As I watched Billy Mays’ great commercials once again, I discovered that with the Quick Chop, you get a free Quick Grater! That was the tie-breaker for me! Quick Chop Wins!

2009 Cleveland Triathlon

I'm still on a post-race high after doing the Cleveland Triathlon yesterday! Last week I attempted the Pittsburgh Triathlon, but had a sprained ankle that just hadn't healed enough yet. I'm glad I didn't try to finish on the ankle, because I probably would have hurt myself too badly to compete yesterday and would have missed an awesome race!

Before the race started I was pretty nervous. This would be the first TRI I completed this year and I had some doubts about whether I was up to the challenge. Adding to my anxiety was the fact that I had forgotten my goggles! I asked a race official if there were any I could use; to my relief she pulled out an old pair that had been left at another race. Unfortunately, though, as soon as I tried them on I realized that they were strong prescription goggles! Luckily I made some friends before the race and one of them had an extra pair for me to use. My new friends were nervous too so that made me feel better as well!

The first leg of the race (the swim), was a 1.5K "L" shaped course that started in the harbor by Voinovich Park, then went out into Lake Erie and back. There were no currents or waves in the harbor; in Lake Erie the water was a little rough, but not too bad. When I first got in the water, it felt on the cold side; I was wishing I was wearing a wetsuit. As soon as the whistle blew and I started swimming though, I not only warmed up, but my nervousness totally went away. I got a huge rush of excitement and adrenaline as I swam past the first buoy out of the harbor.

I still felt great at the end of the swim and ready for the bike. I ran up the ramp from the water trying to focus on what I needed to do to get through my transition quickly. I pulled on a pair of shorts, cycling shoes on, helmet on, a quick sip of water and I was set. I ran my bike out of the transition and started on the second leg.

The cycling leg was for me the most difficult. Cycling is my worst event to begin with, and I thought this was a tough course. It consisted of three 8-mile out-and-back loops around the Shoreway (24 miles total). The out part of the loop was so hilly! During the second loop my legs began to cramp right above my knees. It then started raining and my bike started to make a squeeky noise. I could tell something on the bike was rubbing and causing some friction that would slow me down. I stopped for a second and tried to find the problem, but I couldn't. I only had one loop left so I did my best to ignore it.

It was a great feeling as I coasted off the bike course on my way back into the transition area! Running is my best event and I knew if I made it this far I was going to make it to the end! I threw my bike on the rack, changed shoes and I was off again for the last leg!

As I started the 10K (6.2 mile) run my legs were tired, but felt better than I expected. I got in my running zone and the rest of the race went by fast! Every one was so supportive of the racers. As I climbed the last hill a group of people were cheering for me and giving me encouragement to make it the last mile and a half. When I saw the finish line I was ecstatic. I sprinted to it and felt great! The official times aren't posted yet, but my time was around 2:55 according to my watch.

The Cleveland Triathlon had a great course and was a well organized, fantasic event. I can't wait to do it again. For that great feeling of accomplishment, excitement and exhaustion, all the hard work and training pays off! I'm ready for another race!